one_wolf | Open Post

"Sounds swell to me!" He's plotting on picking up some loose meat, ground beef, spare parts - the kinda stuff he can afford and that he knows how to make taste good on a budget. Once they get there he picks a number for her and one for him, then (poorly) tries to do math in his head.

She can see him trying to calculate when it'll be her turn. (He gave her the lower number.) "There's two people ahead of me."

"That wasn't what I was thinking 'bout, Laverne," he retorts. "I'm trying to figure out if I got enough cash to buy beaks and pork butt all at once."

"Uh, I think you're gonna have to go with the one you're gonna eat first," she replies, trying not to gag.

He's 100 percent oblivious to her finding that gross, as always - I mean, he's seen her eat the brown stuff that used to be yellow.

"Okay, beaks it is."

Once their number's called, he's very specific about how many combs and feet and how much cartilage he wants in his order. The butcher just seems happy to be rid of his garbage. Lenny gets his order and then it's Laverne's turn.

"Um, two breasts and two thighs please."

She might have guessed that this'd be the end result.

She resists shoving Lenny, even when the butcher, actually named Ham, chuckles. Ham wraps up their meat and then says, "Have a good weekend, you kids." Laverne tries not to blush.

He's actually relived that didn't earn him a shove. As always, he'll take what he can get off of her, in more ways than one. He DOES nudge her vis the kids comment, though.

"So whatcha need next? I've gotta try to get some goats milk for Squig." He's completely ready for her to ask why goat's milk; most people are confused but it always makes sense to Lenny.

"Uh, I guess that's over in the dairy section. Unless we gotta go to a farm for that."

Lenny laughs at the idea. The last time they went to the country was for Buttercup, and now he's remembering his plan to flop on the girls, which, naturally, did not come off. "Nah, we buy it here all the time. Squig likes to soak his feet in it. Whattya need next?"

She again does her best not to gag. "Well, there's some stuff we need from dairy, so yeah, let's head over." They're kind of zigzagging around but it's a Saturday and she doesn't have any other plans today. She doesn't even have a date tonight, although she's of course not gonna mention that to him.

Good, throwing up in a grocery store is bad luck.

Lenny, as always, has no major plans either (Squiggy is in fact down at the loading dock trying to charm a couple of WACS into...well, whacking them tonight, which will probably not happen.). Once they get there, he gets his goat's milk.

"You just need some regular or something?" He's a little taller than her and his arms are longer and he can reach better, natch.

"Yeah, half & half. Thanks, Len."

Her eyes are drawn to his hiney in the jeans that slide down an inch or two as he reaches for the highest shelf.

He actually doesn't mean to stretch even more to get his hands on the milk, but she can enjoy that view as he does it. He grabs them milk and half and half and some goat's milk for Squig - and a little milk for himself. His eyebrow goes up when he sees where she's looking.

"Gotta have something to put the Bosco in!" he says. "Though you really can put it in everything. I put it in mashed potatoes last night!"

They're heading around toward the packaged food aisles. Slotnick's is small, but it has everything, usually. "What next?" he asks. "Gotta grab some Bosco, too, and some potatoes and shaving cream."

She's glad he didn't say anything about her ogling. She forgot who he was for a moment and was just admiring a nice tushy. She now manages to joke, "You're not gonna put shaving cream in the mashed potatoes, are ya?" But she's not sure if that's actually a joke. The boys' food tastes are, well, original. Shirley thinks Laverne has a garbage gut, but Lenny and Squiggy really can eat just about anything.

"Laverne!" he tisks. "Everybody knows you put shaving cream on your face. You put Cheeze Wizz on the waffles!"

He may or may not be kidding.

They make it to the frozen food aisle, and Lenny grabs some TV dinners and ice cream. He knows Laverne will do the same before they start grabbing more packaged foods.

Lenny is just grabbing food impulsively, and Laverne wishes she could do the same. But she's got the list that Shirley carefully prepared, so she has to follow that. Well, she slips in some ice cream sandwiches that Shirl didn't think of.

"Oh, Shirley wants a bunch of vegetables. We should hit that aisle."

He's got a little kid's appetite and forethought, which means that his eyes are bigger than his stomach.

"Ooh! I wanna see if I can find a succotash plant!"

He needs to get some artichokes for Squiggy, too.

"Uh, Len, Slotnik's has a little bit of everything, but there are limits."

"Aww, what kinda place don't have a succotash plant?!"

He wouldn't know, just like he wouldn't know different vegetables grow in different ways. City boy he is, they all come in cans, right?

Together, they head to the vegetable section, and he watches her shop while hanging casually against the cart.

Laverne thinks of how this is taking much longer than with Shirley, because Lenny has a much less methodical mind. But it's kind of fun zigzagging with him, and it's not like she has anything better to do.

She buys both fresh vegetables and canned, since Shirley prefers the first, but the second last longer.

If she wanted organized, she came to the wrong place. He is, in fact, holding two artichokes up to his nose and staring in curiosity at his reflection behind the cucumber bin. He's trying to figure out which is bigger.

She cracks, "Thinkin' about a nose job, Len?"

"I'd look pretty silly with an artichoke for a nose!" he holds them up. "Which one's bigger, Laverne?"

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